Here is my take on the issue surrounding the reclaim the streets campaign and the fallout from that.
Firstly, I believe blanket stereotyping of all men as violent and/or aggressors is every bit of offensive as old outdated chauvenistic attitudes towards women knowing their place in the home etc. That said, I nevertheless see the inherent flaw in the #notallmen response, as it carries, or at least implies, the same ostrich attitude and cowardice in the name of self-absolution as #alllivesmatter did.
I do recognise that there are some who will use it as a means of covert denial that there is a societal problem, and I am not among them, but I do think tarring all men with the same brush is exacerbating, not resolving, the underlying problem.
In 2021, nobody should be making assumptions about the characters, capabilities or attitudes of any individual based on nothing but their gender. I abhor bigotry in any form, whether it be on grounds of skin colour, faith, sexual orientation or gender, but it would be equally wrong to assume a female employee in a hospital must be a nurse as it is for a woman to assume that I am an aggressive sexual predator for no other reason than that I was born with a penis.
I do actively applaud the recent change in attitude from “protect your daughters” to “educate your sons”. That is entirely positive. There are so often generational differences in attitudes and if a new generation learns to finally put an end to the tough man/delicate woman nonsense, then that is good for everyone, men included, as so many men with mental health issues have taken their own lives as society expects a built-in toughness they cannot achieve.
In terms of institutionalised attitudes, we have come a long way since the 1970s, but still have a way to go. I do not pretend that we are even close to true gender parity, but we are moving, albeit painfully slowly, in the right direction.
However, I do have a problem with the behaviour of some in the aftermath of the murder of Sarah Everard. I fully support the right to peaceful protest, which is a vital tenet of any democracy, and applaud expressions of support and empathy, but I believe the vigil on Clapham Common was irresponsible.
Hundreds of people who never knew the victim gathering to “pay their respects” may seem honourable and laudable, in terms of what it represents but, during a pandemic, and particularly when there are restrictions still in place preventing many of those who genuinely did know her from attending her funeral is disrespectful to them, and to all those who have, as a result of abiding by the rules, not seen some of their own relatives for months, and dangerous in terms of the very substantial risk of Covid spread that the vigil created. The early stages of vaccine implementation have lulled some into a false sense of security and this mass gathering hugely undermined it, regardless of its moral legitimacy.
The police were unquestionably excessively heavy handed in their response, but two wrongs do not in any way make a right. Clapham Common is a large open space but, even outdoors, hundreds packed together in front of a bandstand where speeches are being made is unacceptable.
I do not seek to create conflict with this post. Some men do bad things, but because they are bad, not because they are men. No co-opted tragedy alters that fact.
By a massive majority, most murders committed by men are against other men. Of murders committed against women, most are perpetrated by family members or persons known to the victim. Only a tiny proportion are by strangers in the streets at night, so this campaign is actually harmful. It is fuelling a new bigotry.
I am not incapable of understanding the mistrust of men. A couple of years ago, I was walking home from the pub one night. It was about midnight and a young woman was walking in the same direction as me, a little in front. I noticed her looking over her shoulder at me a few times. Realising that she was probably anxious I slowed my pace and held back, but that seemed to make her even more nervous. After a while, she ducked into a shop doorway and waited for me to walk past before walking behind me, not that it made much difference as I then turned up the street where I lived at the time and she carried on.
I get it. Everybody should feel safe when walking alone, regardless of gender. What needs to change is attitude. Men need to stop treating women like prey, and women need to stop treating men like predators. Only then can trust become mutual. #notallpeople
middleagedaydream 